| Preventing
Kids From Getting Really Lost
And what to do if it happens!
by Alyssa Dver
PARENTGUIDE News August 2006
“I can’t find my child” are possibly the most dreaded
words for any parent or caregiver. The panic that a parent feels is
indescribable. The parent immediately worries that the child has been
harmed or abducted. Luckily, most of the time, the child is found physically
unharmed and quickly reunited. However, even momentary wandering can
create trauma for both child and parent.
While most people do not voluntarily confess, 90 percent of families
are affected by accidental wandering. American children get lost over
2,000 times each day in all kinds of public places such as beaches,
amusement parks, fairs and airports.
It is not a result of bad parenting or bad children. Yet, as “good”
parents, we can be proactive and avoid or at least minimize the profound
trauma and possible physical harm that occurs when a child is lost.
With these simple tips, you can help keep your child safe wherever you
go.
•Put Safe, Easily Accessible Contact Information on Your
Child.
While there is no substitute for parental/caregiver attention, the best
preparation is to put a note or tag with your cell phone number on your
child in an easily accessible place. This allows another adult to see
and use it to contact you quickly (or the caregiver that is out with
your child).
Young children, or some special needs children who cannot speak, should
have the identification visible so that another person can access it
easily without needing to undo the child’s clothing. If your child
fidgets with the I.D., attach it to the back of their clothing between
their shoulder blades. Older children can carry the cell phone information
in their pocket, if you are confident that they will be able to produce
that information when they need it. You can use a laminated card, a
sticker or one of the various I.D. products on the market. Never put
your home address on the I.D.
•Dress Children in Bright, Special “Away from Home”
Clothing.
To help spot children easily, dress them in brightly colored external
clothing such as a vibrant t-shirt, hat or jacket. Very bright yellow
or green works best. Some parents routinely dress themselves and their
children in the same color when they are going out to crowded places.
Bright apparel can also serve as a key identifier for others helping
you to find your missing child.
•Carry a Recent Photo and Description of Each Child.
Carrying a recent photo of your child is one of the most important things
you can do for his safety. On the back of the photo, note the child’s
eye color, hair color, height, weight and any birthmarks or other distinguishing
marks. If your child is one of multiples, note that as well. Be sure
to put your cell number on the back, too. Do this for each of your children.
If you need assistance from other people to find your child, having
that photo and information available can lead to a quick and successful
reunion.
•Teach Your Child to Ask Another Mommy for Help.
A scared child may not be able to find a trusted authority quickly.
It is difficult to describe a typical guard or officer. Teach your children
to enlist help from another mother. Children intuitively know that a
mommy is a woman with other kids. This is one type of “stranger”
that you do want your child to talk to if they need help. Also, right
before you arrive at a public place, remind your child what to do if
he gets lost.
•Reinforce Good Behavior.
When you go out to a public place, even the supermarket, and you return
without your child getting lost, tell him that he was good for staying
with you the entire time while you were out. Positive reinforcement
is the best way to elicit the behavior you want from your child.
What to Do Immediately When Your Child Is Lost.
Many public places such as retail stores, amusement parks and beaches
now have specific lost child procedures such as lock downs. If your
child does get lost, try to remain calm and quickly find an onsite employee
to trigger the venue’s lost child process. Don’t wander
too far away from the spot where you last saw your child. Often the
child is still nearby. If you sense that your child is more than just
temporarily lost, call the police. It is better to call back to report
that you have found your child than to lose any precious time that can
make a critical difference in safely finding him.
Once you are reunited with your child, be sure to congratulate him for
following the instructions you taught him in case he got lost. Don’t
yell at your child for getting lost. If the child ever gets lost again,
he may prefer to remain lost rather than be yelled at. If the child
did not follow the proper instructions, discuss the incident seriously
but calmly and recall precisely how you both felt while you were separated.
Often times, the child doesn’t even think he was missing at all—
the child may think that you were the one lost! Reiterate how important
it is that he doesn’t wander off next time and remind him about
finding another mommy for help.
Alyssa Dver is a family safety expert and CEO of Wander Wear®
Inc., (www.wander-wear.com), a parent-run company that advocates child
safety in public places. She is a frequent speaker and quoted resource
for lost child prevention. Wander Wear® develops practical information
and affordable products that can quickly and easily reunite lost children
with their parents or caregivers. She is the mother of two boys ages
7 and 3.
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